On November 2nd,we began another chapter in this fight against metastatic breast cancer. After spending 11 days in the hospital, two surgery's and very weakened lungs, I am now home and trying to recover.Just a few weeks ago I was teaching my Fitness group and running through the woods after class with a friend. Now..I can hardly walk to the car at the doctors office...Wow,that changed fast!
The process is slow, very slow. Each day I spend a few hours getting antibiotics pumped into my system to fight the pneumonia, as well as taking an oral one at home. I had no idea how taxing this process would be on my body. I sleep...alot!
However, today has been my first day in 15 days that I have been able to do some small tasks like cleaning up, laundry, etc. You don't know how much you miss the daily grind until you can no longer participate. So, we will call today a good day!
I still have 11 more of these treatments, scans, x-rays and stitches out. Then the decision of when to begin chemo will be made. Having pleural effusions/ partially collapsed lungs and pneumonia is not how my Doctors will start chemo...and we are fine with that.
I did have a port put in, but I will be honest after going though chemo once before I am struggling very much with this decision. Other than letting it spread I am not sure I have many other choices.
I wish I could change my diet/lifestyle/ stress levels to kick this thing back into NED (No evidence of disease). But as most of you know I have done all that. Which I truly believe has helped me over these past 14 years fighting cancer. Truth be known, it has been 16 years since I found a lump at age 32 and went to the doctor. It was dismissed as a build up of tissue...a simple needle biopsy was all they needed to do. Two years later, I was already stage three.
I am trying hard to listen to everyone who is saying "one day at a time". If getting over this part was the recovery that would be much easier to swallow. I know the next part will be even harder. But I have too much to fight for so I try to wrap my brain around the next steps and ask God for his healing, comfort, peace and protection.
Be strong and of good
courage;
be not frightened,
neither be dismayed;
for the Lord your God is
with you whenever you go.
(Joshua 1:9)
9 comments:
I haven't followed you through this whole journey you are on ... only just recently.
But now knowing that is has been so long a fight ... well, you truly are a warrior - not a hero which is just a one shot wonder - but a warrior who goes out every single day and fights the good fight - and, yes, sometimes prays as well for strength to continue.
And from the pictures of your family it is clear, you have a lot to fight for.
Prayers to you, dear lady.
From the Other Elaine
Elayne, my heart aches for what you are going through. But you are right, you have a lot to live for and there are so many people that love you and are praying for you. Hang in there. I pray for peace and comfort and NED! Love you.
You will make the right decision Elayne - you always have - and we support you 100%....
Behind you all the way!
Robin
Elayne, you write so beautifully and express your feelings in such a way that I feel I am right there with you, which I am through my prayers. You have our support in whatever you decide to do. I can only imagine how tired you are after so many years of fighting the battle. Yet, there is that part of you that keeps you going. You have a wonderful family and all are cheering you on.
Love you. Aunt Dena & Uncle Harvey
This made me think of you. You are such a profound witness to me. Thank you for that.
Lamentations 3
"Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail... The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him...Though he brings grief, he will show compassion, so great is his unfailing love. For he does not willingly bring affliction or grief to the children of men."
Elayne
I will continue to be praying for strength for the days ahead, comfort and peace that only he can provide and for healing of your body
So do not fear for I am with you, do not be dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand Isaiah41:10
Elayne, I have not had the pleasure to meet you yet, but I work with Chris and get occasional updates on your health. You are both AMAZING individuals and have an equally amazing family. While my heart hurts knowing that you are still fighting this disease, please realize you are an incredible inspiration to others. Chris said you're planning to run this weekend ("just a 5K or 10K"), so maybe I can go a little further on my daily walk which pales in comparison! May God bless you in your healing journey. I hope you'll let me know if there's anything I can do to help.
Karen
You're such a trooper. Glad you are home and out of the hospital. My thoughts will be with you in the days ahead. Still haven't heard about the story we discussed.
I'm saying a little prayer for you right now Elayne. You are a fighter, and that has gotten you this far. It sounds so difficult, and the sudden weakness must be very hard to cope with. Art
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