Thursday, January 6, 2011

I walked away humbled

Yesterday I went to the infusion center to get my injections. Before I got to the room I was talking to the nurses in the hallway about the migraines. We decided to try a new prescription if or when they return. I was feeling pretty good as my headache had finally went away and I had a date night with my husband later that evening.
I stepped into the infusion center and it was more crowded than normal, which struck me right away. I sat down, waiting for my turn and heard the conversations all around me. One couple discussing ending chemo vs. quality of life because the husband is so sick and tired that he no longer has a quality of life.
Then a husband helping his tiny, frail wife in to a seat. The nurses talking about sending her to the emergency room. Looked to my left and the women all alone, hooked up to her chemo, asleep and looking so worn.
And then it hit me like a ton of bricks.... "headaches" really?? That's what I need help with? My heart hurt so bad for these people, I could not stop the tears from flowing. My heart ached for them because I know what they are going through, I have been there.
God, in the way only He can do it, reminded me yesterday that right now, today, He has given me life to live! At any point in time any one of us can be the person in the chair, maybe for the first time, maybe for the last. But right now, I am blessed with the life He has given me.
I told my nurse how I was feeling.She told me not to think that way. She said " you have your own battle, and this IS your reality". I appreciated her encouragement and must say I appreciated my date night with Chris more than ever! I most defiantly walked away humbled.

6 comments:

Mike and Christie said...

Those moments of reflection God gives us are ours to keep and ponder.

I have been struggling with my own battle, and this past few weeks have been hard, and I have been fearful.

Last night, I awoke and needed to get an advil for my own non migrane headache that has been plaguing me. :)
As I started to walk down the hall, my balance was WAY off, and I struggled not to fall down.
My body felt funny, and I was instantly fearful.
Then, I prayed and put my life back in the hands of the Lord and went back to sleep.
This a.m. I woke up in a good amount of pain, and was actually a little afraid to get up. I was afraid I wouldn't be able to stand.
But when I did, even though a slight bit not normal, I walked down the hall normally and I rejoiced for another day.

It is so true, we only have 1 life to live, and with God at our side, we can do our best in the circumstances thrown our way.

I went back on my extreme MS diet on Sunday. This is day 4 and I am doing well.
Amazing what a little dizziness can do to make one not ever want to drink a coke. :)

Anonymous said...

Thank you for this reminder about perspective. You are an inspiring lady.
Philip

Anonymous said...

How inspiring! I wish you could be free of pain and ac hes and threats to your health. God bless you
Richard Minich

Jonna said...

Bless your heart! Prayin for you Elayne! I hope you post about your date! Would love to hear about it!~ Love you!

Kim said...

Thank you for sharing your thoughts...I have felt the same way many times. I just got home from a ladies bible study group and was expressing my saddness to my husband how little the average person really understands the hurt and pain some must endure. Praying for you as you have your PET scan.

Csilla Elam said...

Praying for you for healing! By His stripes you WERE healed!

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