Somewhere in between....

Somewhere in between...that is where I am right now. Feeling good enough to be getting bored and wanting to do more and more but not good enough to go back to "normal" yet.

"NORMAL"...there really is not a normal anymore. What I now perceive as normal ( what I was doing before chemo) was far from what used to be the norm.
As time goes on that word and it's meaning keeps changing. Four years ago I was training for half and full marathons and wondering "how much faster or better I might be if I were "normal". Today I am wondering what it will be like to run a 5k again or well, even walk it.

I much prefer a life outdoors, active and with people to enjoy it. I find myself trying hard to enjoy the quieter things of life right now. Reading...movies...online games against my kids...I am even considering learning to knit! Those of you who know me are rolling on the floor right now, I know!

Inside, I am just longing to be back out there with my hubby and friends', Running, kayaking, hiking, riding my jet ski, camping,EVERYTHING WE USED TO DO! To once again be training with my ladies fitness group, kicking their butts and loving every minute with them..even when they don't exactly like me :)

These past 14 years have taught me that there are times we have to slow down, change perspectives, let others help, and even accept what a new "normal" looks like.

I am thankful that I can be going through chemo (and everything else) and still desire these things. That was not the case 14 years ago with my first round of chemo. So, for that I am quite hopeful that I may be able to get a little bit of my active life back while I am in this place
                                          "somewhere in between".

Nonna & Liam

A Bucket List?

As I have been thinking about and reading resolution's other's are
making I wondered, what do you think of when someone writes out a
bucket list? For me, I have always  associated it  with things someone
wants to do before they pass away.

My personal feelings on this is that everyone should have a so called
"bucket list". I have not and do not plan to use that particular term
only because of it's usual association and for me it is a negative
one.

I do, however believe in a Goals list. This should be ongoing, for all
of us! If we are always setting goals, we always have something to
look forward to, reach and strive for. A continuation, not a checklist
till the end.

So, really, we should never complete our list as we should always be
striving to learn more, do more, help more, and achieve those goals
that maybe we never thought possible.

Each year I tend to look back over the 12 months and create a top 10
list, I find this a good way to reflect on the previous year and
hopefully, happy and encouraged about heading into the new year!



So,here are my top 10 from 2012.

1 ) Family/ Nonna time, especially the holidays, including another
White Christmas!

2) The love and kindness of friends' and family as we received and are
going through the treatment for cancer for the 6th time.

3) Empty Nesters again. We look at all of our kids lives and are so
proud of each one of them and the places they are in their lives right
now.

4) Liams first bday

5) Trip to San Juan Island! -We flew in a sea plane, kayaked with
whales, zip lined through the forest and fed a  sea lion named
Popeye...all firsts!

6) Personal milestones; 14 yrs as a cancer survivor,my 48th bday and
28th wedding anniversary.


7) Fantastic year of teaching swimming & training my ladies fitness group.

  
8) Our Spring camp/kayak/bike trip. Accomplished a personal goal of
swimming across the lake and back :)

9)Met my reading goal on GoodReads and completed another year of the
A-Z blog writers challenge.

 
10) Bought my "dream car" A blue Nissan Xterra, which I call the "Blue Beast".

Happy New Year and thank you for all your love, support and prayers~


I would love to hear your thoughts on goals, bucket lists,
resolutions...what are yours and what do you refer to them as?