Friday, January 11, 2013

Somewhere in between....

Somewhere in between...that is where I am right now. Feeling good enough to be getting bored and wanting to do more and more but not good enough to go back to "normal" yet.

"NORMAL"...there really is not a normal anymore. What I now perceive as normal ( what I was doing before chemo) was far from what used to be the norm.
As time goes on that word and it's meaning keeps changing. Four years ago I was training for half and full marathons and wondering "how much faster or better I might be if I were "normal". Today I am wondering what it will be like to run a 5k again or well, even walk it.

I much prefer a life outdoors, active and with people to enjoy it. I find myself trying hard to enjoy the quieter things of life right now. games against my kids...I am even considering learning to knit! Those of you who know me are rolling on the floor right now, I know!

Inside, I am just longing to be back out there with my hubby and friends', Running, kayaking, hiking, riding my jet ski, camping,EVERYTHING WE USED TO DO! To once again be training with my ladies fitness group, kicking their butts and loving every minute with them..even when they don't exactly like me :)

These past 14 years have taught me that there are times we have to slow down, change perspectives, let others help, and even accept what a new "normal" looks like.

I am thankful that I can be going through chemo (and everything else) and still desire these things. That was not the case 14 years ago with my first round of chemo. So, for that I am quite hopeful that I may be able to get a little bit of my active life back while I am in this place
                                          "somewhere in between".
Nonna & Liam


Ronni Gordon said...

I know what you mean about wanting to do outdoorsy stuff but not being able to.People like us want to run run run, but you can discover that gentle walking has its rewards. Also no kidding but when I was home after my first baby and not feeling well because of having had a c-section, I did some knitting and once I started couldn't put it down. I made a blanket with different kinds of beautiful yarn so I wouldn't have to concentrate on a sweater pattern, and it came out really well. Mohair, ribbon etc.

Noelle said...

Oh, Elayne...I so understand. Our lives are now a new normal. And, I am grateful for it..blessings on,

Kim said...

You have been on my mind and heart all day...praying that you will be able to participate in a few of the things that bring you such joy!


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