Tuesday, July 24, 2012

4:17 AM

Today I woke at 4:17 AM with my head spinning..wondering..thinking. This time of the day is, to me, the middle of the night. So, this is quite unusual. This also happens to be my 48th birthday. When you are a 4x cancer survivor of nearly 14 years, every birthday is a miracle! So, no I do not mind at all sharing my age.

What had me up at 4:17 am? I woke up thinking about my birth. I don't actually know what time I was born ( maybe 4:17 am), or who, if anyone was with Barbara, my birth mother on that day.

I thought about my kids when they were babies, and Liam, my grandson. So much happens in those first three months of life. But who was I with? Who held me, fed me, rocked me? Was I held or rocked or loved? Did I even have a name, what did they call me?

Somewhere out there someone took care of me from this first day of my life in July. I have always wondered who and would love to meet them someday if ever possible.

On October 26th, my parents took me home for good. They have been my mom and dad since then. As we celebrated my birthday this past Sunday with my parents I could see how much they love and enjoy Liam, my kids and my husband.
But...one thing really stood out to me. Seems simple in conversation but it meant a lot to me. We were planning a pool party outdoors that day. The heat and humidity were awful reaching  temperatures of about 109.
We talked about how we were glad we moved it indoors, especially with the baby and both my parents who have had some health issues lately.

My dad said they were not going to have been able to get in the water anyways.Yet, they were willing to come sit outside in that heat...just to be there on my birthday!

I still wonder about my BIRTH day and the following months. I am so very thankful for Barbara who was there on that day and made the choices she did, and for my mom and dad who have been there for every Birthday since.

6 comments:

Jonna said...

Happy birthday Elayne! :) thanks for sharing your life with us!

Maryann said...

Happy Birthday Elayne

Anonymous said...

Teresa Sherwin Happy Birthday Elaine. Hope you have a great day!

Nikki Marie Minich What a beautiful blog. I have loved spending every birthday with you for the past five years and look forward to many more! You may not know who loved you and hugged you 48 years ago...but you can be sure who will be there loving, hugging, and singing to you for every birthday here on out--me, kev, and one very messy little grandbaby. :)
We love you!! Happy birthday!

Julie Witsen Happy birthday my friend I love seeing u so happy and surrounded by all the people who truly love u you r one lucky girl I love ya have a great day :0)

Stephanie Bromley Happy happy birthday!! Elayne's birthday cake for breakfast! :) yum!

Jonna Wilson Happy Birthday Sweet Elsyne!! Hope you have a great day!

Diane Heathcock Well Elayne another year has come and gone. Can you believe it? I think you look better than ever!! Happy Birthday from the Denton Gang.

Anne Eruzione Happy Birthday Elayne, have a great day!!

Mike Christie Minich What a sweet post. Make sure you mom and dad read that one. :)

Heidi Asiaf Have a happy birthday

Lee Ann Heath Happy Birthday!

Retired Knitter said...

Happy Birthday dear lady.

You have such a wonderful outlook on life - appreciate it in ways most of us don't. Yes, you have a life threatening condition that you manage, but the positive attitude and personal fortitude are wired into you - disease or no - you would be this way. You are an inspiration.

And I think your parents did a great job as well.

Ronni Gordon said...

Happy birthday! It is so good to feel loved.

Racn4acure said...

Hey there! Well happy birthday, belated, Elayne. I am a July baby, too. Different day, and definitely a different year, like just after the Civil War, I think! Ha! I hate that waking up early with your head spinning king of deal. Hope you are celebrating many, many more birthdays in the days to come. Art

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