Time~ what a difference it makes..

Yesterday I had my annual Fall Southern Living "girl" party. I have been doing this for about 6 years. However last year because of the place I was in I couldn't even begin to wrap my mind around having people over for a party, but one year later I was able to not only celebrate these friendships and time together but I also was able to paint my entire kitchen ( no small job :)

Chris and I ( well I tried :) painted the dining room last year as a way to help me focus on smaller projects instead of looking out to the future which was at the time too difficult. I still have anxieties about what the future holds and still very much use this technique of smaller projects, goals and time lines which has been very helpful. Before I knew it a year had passed and many things have been accomplished! I was pretty much unable to even help last year. This year I tackled it by myself with the exception of my son Kevin helping one Saturday afternoon. Thank you Kev!

Calling on your circle~

Several years ago my back was really hurting. I thought I popped a rib out or maybe broke it. I did see several different doctors including a chiropractor that all thought the rib was "out". Even had adjustments done and going to physical therapy.
It continued to get worse, sometimes I couldn't even breath because it hurt so bad. But... after a few weeks it would ease up and sometimes go away. So, I did not think it was cancer because I had been told "if it's cancer, it won't go away".
Finally, I decided to get to the bottom of it and find out what was wrong. I was preparing for a half marathon and didn't want the rib to "go out" during the race. My new primary care doctor did a good job at looking very carefully at the rib because of my past history. They saw something suspicious on the x ray and had me do more tests.
This is when you are going into panic mode. We prayed so hard that it would be a broken rib but the more tests done the worse it looked.
To be honest at first I didn't want to tell anyone except Chris and the boys and contemplated not telling anyone else. I couldn't believe after 9 years I was back here facing this monster again. Only this time it seemed so much worse.
Because we believe so much in the power of prayer and the support of friends and family we did, after getting final results let everyone know. That was hard. Your life is turned upside down within moments and everyone knows it.
I can tell you this, when we have asked for prayer this time and the first time, I can actually feel the power in the prayers that you all are lifting up and there is great comfort in that. So, call on your circle of prayer warriors, become a prayer warrior for others and don't ever underestimate the power of prayer. From our Sunday school lesson this week on prayer~
"God can do in 5 seconds what we can't do in 5 days, weeks, months or years".

Insight into a survivors mind~

Dear everyone~ I am thankful that things have slowed down after a very intense year and half and am looking forward to beginning the healing process. I thought it might be helpful to others going through a cancer diagnosis and for their families, friends and caretakers to share some of my experiences, thoughts,beliefs and insights of things that worked and those that did not in helping me cope with a diagnosis of an "incurable" cancer. I will now start posting as these times come to mind and hope that my experiences will help with insight to anyone affected by cancer, weather it is you or someone you love and care about. Maybe it is a stranger or someone you work with.

For these posts I will not send an e-mail notice out. Just check them as you feel you would like to or pass on to someone that it may help. For today I will start with where I am now in all of this but then I will go back to the beginning from diagnosis.

Last night I watched part of an interview with Robin Roberts on Good Morning America. She too this past year has been battling breast cancer. Her journey has been documented and she said a couple of things in the interview that were so simple yet so important. I thought I would add my own experiences on to some of hers.

1) Understanding the survivor AFTER treatment is done~ in my case the treatment will be on-going but for most there is an end as there was for me the first time. Although the majority of us do not want to be pitied or babied we do want people to understand this is not "getting over the flu". The healing process brings a whole new dimension to this fight along with fears, doubts, anxieties as well as hope for a future and trying to figure out what your "new life" looks like. Our bodies and minds have been through a war and need a lot of time to recover. So, we need time and patience :)

2)This is NOT my life story just something in my life, a part of my life. What is appreciated is being treated like you treat anyone else or the relationship as it was before. Sometimes changes do have to be made if the relationships were not healthy to begin with or worked on to change them.However, the survivor may not have the mental or emotional capabilities at this time to work on these unhealthy relationships. They may have to be put on the "back burner". Overall, day to day we are the same people and want nothing more than to live a "normal" life. But.. we are fighting for that life.

3) I cannot say I am in remission or cancer free. I can say I believe in Gods healing power and that they are not seeing any "active" cancer at this time. Having the prayer support and support of family, friends, church family and even the strangers that cheered me on by my name as I ran the half marathon do wonders for us! The connection of others is vital and the power of prayer is shown all throughout this blog and my journey. So, thank you all for your continued prayers and support.

More posts later on "living my life with metastatic breast cancer"~

October is breast cancer awarness month~

Now Playing - We Will

View our short film about Susan G. Komen for the Cure®.

http://cms.komen.org/komen/NewsEvents/NowPlayingKomenVideos/index.htm

One in 8 women will get breast cancer in their life. Know what the risks, warning signs, prevention and treatment options are.

Results from Cardiologist!

Good Monday Morning everyone~ just got home from my echo and visit with the cardiologist. I am happy to tell you I once again have a NORMAL HEALTHY HEART! I do have to remain on the blood pressure and beta blocker medications for now.

Of course my big question was "do I have any restrictions"? The doctor said no :) Kevin has already asked me if I will run a half marathon in Arizona, I believe in February. Team Ambo what do you think??

My challenge is going to be the meds I am on. The beta blocker ( for my heart) in particular interferes with the endurance. Not sure what to expect, but I have been given the ok to try :)

He is my strength, my shield from every danger. I trusted in Him, and he helped me. Joy rises in my heart until I burst out in songs of praise to Him. The Lord protects his people and gives victory to his anointed king. Psalm 28: 7-8

And I will give you a new heart -- I will give you new and right desires -- and put a new spirit within you. . Ezekial 36: 26

This week~ and video

Hello everyone~
The Zometa treatment went pretty well last week. Thanks, I know so many of you were praying about that. My jaw was sore for a while but not like last time, so I will let my doctor know and see what he wants to do. I tried taking several days off from running or weights right after the Zometa to see if that helped with the body aches and pains ( you feel like you have the flu). I did yoga only and that seemed to help. The fatigue was kind of tough this time, BUT, I am now feeling good again :)
On October 6th I have an echo and visit with my cardiologist. We are praying that this test also comes back showing a "healthy" heart! I would love to start getting off some of the meds I am on, but not sure if this is the right time. These are things we are in prayer about.

My sister-in-law Cindy sent me this u-tube video. It was made Sunday at her church in Oklahoma. It is very moving and inspiring. After watching it ask yourself~What would my cardboard story be? Leave your answer in the comments section or e-mail me and I will post them for you. We all have a story~ what is yours?

Thanks Cindy!

http://romanstwelveone.blogspot.com/

Prayer request for this week

Hi everyone~ thank you all so much for all the encouragement and joy you have shared with me through calls, e-mails ,cards and your words regarding my test results from last week. I am feeling stronger and can notice things I could not do before that I am able to do now. Small things, like holding my arms over my head during my tests for long periods without much pain and gained strength in my upper body. Chris and I have also been able to add another mile to our run, putting us at about 16 miles per week. Hopefully, my cardiologist will give me the go to train again :)

Part of all this is, I believe,that the Zometa ( to strengthen the bones) is working and helping. However one of the more serious side effects from this drug is that it can deteriorate your jaw bone. The treatment I had last month left me with a lot of pain in my teeth and jaw, not a good sign. My doctor and I decided to try one more treatment, which is tomorrow, to see if it happens again. If it does I have to stop this as well, or only have it every 6 months to once a year. Not only is the Zometa good for bone strength but it appears it may even stop the cancer from spreading within the bone. So, I would like to ask for prayer that all goes well this week. I am usually fine the day of, it is the following days that I don't feel very well. But, specifically the jaw is our concern.

Thanks again for all your continued support and prayers. It has been a very long, hard year but we see God answering prayers every day! We continue to ask for total healing and restoration.

Elayne~

When I pray, you answer me and encourage me by giving me the strength I need. Psalm 138: 3

FOOD 4 LIFE ~ new blog!

I have decided to create a new blog http://elayne-foodforlife.blogspot.com/

I am asked a lot about nutrition and what foods we eat so I am putting some of this information in the new blog. I have my certifications in Personal Fitness Training and Advanced Sports Nutrition, so many of the choices are based on that knowledge as well as for health and wellness with an emphasis on fighting cancer. These are simply what works best for us and our favorites, not intended to meet specific medical needs.

Feel free to check it out, try some of the foods and drinks and please leave feedback, questions or your own healthy food suggestions. I look forward to hearing from you and sharing ideas.

The permanent link will be located on the side bar ~ enjoy!

One year exactly~ test results

Wow ~ it has been a long, tough year. Last year on 9-11 I was having a bone biopsy done on my rib. Today one year later I received the best news we could have asked for!

ALL MY TESTS ARE CLEAR!!!! At this point in time there is "no evidence of metastatic disease"!
Our God is an awesome God~ He hears us when we pray and He answers!

Test results~ bone scan, this is exciting. The spot that was on my spine does not show up at all and the rib is again showing improvement.

CT and chest X Ray also show no sign of metastatic disease. No fluid on the lungs or nodules. The liver, spleen, kidneys, pancreas and adrenal glands all look ok.

Muga scan ( heart) ~ back up to 50, this puts me in normal range again!!! It is low end of normal, but normal! Blood pressure~ normal 120/70, sometimes even lower.

Blood tests~ all fine, tumor markers are in normal range and kidney function is normal.

Oh, and I also passed my PT Exam~ so I am now a Certified Personal Fitness Trainer :)

What a year and what an amazing God we have! Thank you so much for all the prayers and support from all of you during this time.

What from here? I see my oncologist in 4 months and will continue to be monitored. I will continue with the meds I am currently on including Zometa treatments once a month. That may change, but I will keep you posted.

Does this mean the cancer is gone? It means there is no sign of it at this point in time and I will always be considered stage 4 metastatic breast cancer. Is it sitting dormant, is it there but we just don't yet see it on the tests or did God take it away??

Today was a good day :)

muga scan Tuesday

Tomorrow, I will have a muga scan to check my heart again. Before the Herceptin treatments my injection fraction number was 54 ( I believe 50 is normal). It dropped down to 45, showing damage to the heart, which is why the Herceptin had to be stopped.
We are praying that tomorrow's test will show that number back in normal range. We would like to ask for your prayer support on this as well as all the test results on Thursday with my oncologist.
Thanks everyone for your support this week~ Elayne

Scan/test Day

On Wednesday Chris and I spent most of the day at the hospital getting my scans and tests done. I had to drink 2 bottles of contrast first thing in the morning but handled it much better this time. Thanks for those of you that were praying about that :)

I had a chest x ray, CT and bone scan done. What I do know so far is that my blood work looked fine, kidney function is normal ( important because of the Zometa) and tumor markers remain normal. I think from what we could tell, the bone scan looked good, just don't have official results yet. Don't know on the CT and X Ray.

Chris and I meet with my doctor on Thursday for the results. I would like to continue asking for prayer on ALL the test results.

Chris was able to come back with me during the bone scan and see what I look like as a full size Halloween decoration. This is Deb getting me ready for the scan.

To All Survivors~

" A survivor is a triumphant person who lives with, after or in spite of a diagnosis or traumatic event. Survivors refuse to assume the identity of their adversity. They are not imprisoned by the constructs of a label. Instead survivors use their brush with mortality as a catalyst for creating a better self. We transform our experience in order to further evolve spiritually, emotionally, physically, and mentally. Our reality challenges us to go deeper.

Survivors cultivate an essence that will never be victim to a word."

From the book ~ Crazy, Sexy, Cancer Survivor by Kris Carr.

From Fear to Faith

This is what our pastor spoke about yesterday. Before he began our music minister, Mark, asked everyone to pray for one minute. During that time I asked God to continue helping me get from Fear to Faith, not knowing what Pastor Bruce was about to say. It is amazing how God works!

Getting to the place where you have "really" gone from fear to faith has been difficult, and I am still working hard to get there. It is a surrendering of yourself and a complete trust that God knows the plans He has for you.

Pastor Bruce said the more you get to this place the dimmer things of this world become. God knows the desires of my heart and I am still working on having the faith that Habakkuk had and excited to see the plans He has for me. I ask for your prayers this week to have this kind of faith as I have another complete round of tests tomorrow and it will be a long, hard day.

Although Habakkuk was afraid and did not understand he said;
"yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Saviour.

The Sovereign Lord is my strength" Habakkuk 3; 18-19

Thanks for your support and prayers ~ Elayne

Time again for treatment and tests~

Hi everyone~ tomorrow, I will be having blood work and a Zometa treatment @ 11 am. The following week I will have another CT scan, bone scan and chest x ray. When all that is done, Chris and I will meet with my doctor to go over all the results.

I'm not sure if this part ever gets easier~ please be in prayer for ALL the test results to come back well and that I will handle the Zometa tomorrow with no problems.

I had been having a lot of pain in my back which has eased up lately.

Thanks all for your continued support~
Elayne

August 21 ~ 10 years!

Today is my 10 year anniversary as a cancer survivor and coming up on the 1 year anniversary of my recurrence.

What if....

What if I never had cancer? My life would have been so much easier but I would not have been pushed and challenged in every way possible, to see what you are really made of and then realize you cannot do this alone.

What if, I never had to go through all these treatments and side effects? Then I would never have been able to understand what others are going through and be a friend in their time of need.

What if this happened when I was 84 instead of 34? Then I might not have cherished all the little moments watching my boys grow up and my time with my husband~ my best friend.

What if it didn't come back a second time? I would not have had the courage to do so many things and make so many changes.

What if I didn't have to face the unknown? Then I might be worrying about the future and not seeing each day for what it is ~

What if this happened to someone else instead of me? That is harder to endure.

What if I had the choice? Then I may not have realized that my life is not my own and I am not in control.

What if I didn't believe in prayer? Then I would not be able to see the power of it.

What if I didn't have comfort, peace, trust, love, strength? Then I would not have had Christ.

LET MY LIFE-SONG SING TO YOU!

The Jewelry Box

I received a very special gift from my brother on my birthday. My birth mother ( Barbara) died many years ago and I never got to meet her. I have however known my birth family for the past 15 years and I have two brothers, Marco & Dana.

When Barbara died Dana kept her jewelry box and recently decided to send it to me. It is the first "piece" of her that I have. I opened it up and saw a mirror in the lid of the box. I looked at it and wondered " I bet she never thought it would be my face in the reflection of the same mirror she must have looked into so many times." I went through the whole thing, piece by piece, even finding some pieces that I can wear. I can smell her perfume in the box and on the jewelry and wonder what the story is behind each piece in the box.

I believe God is in control of everything and He knew before I was born that I would not be raised in my birth family and had a different family chosen for me. He has allowed me to have both families in my life, which I am grateful for.
So for now, I have this small piece from her life to hold on to. Thank you Dana!

Dosage back up for blood pressure

I tried taking the half dosage for the BP med. for 3 days and my BP went up immediately. I felt all those feelings coming back again when it was too high. Called Friday to ask my doctor if I can raise it back up and expect to hear from them tomorrow. In the meantime I went back to the original dosage and my BP is back to normal.

I have been having a lot of pain in my back lately but it does seem to be easing up. Chris and I notice that when we have rain or storms coming it will hurt and also when I am stressed and there is a lot of tension in the muscles. Please continue to pray that this pain will go away completely. My last tests did not show any areas of concern and actually showed healing in the rib and spine. So... hopefully it is something else. I ran the last two days and that also seems to help. I think I am out of alignment :)

Also, my certification exam is this Wednesday. I have been studying very hard for it and ask for prayer that my comprehension, retention and memory will be very strong this week as I am going to need all of them :) This has been difficult to do given the last year and half and the different medications I am on. Please pray that I will do well.

We have had a quiet weekend, both Chris and I have been studying ( Chris for his professional engineer cert.) and take breaks to watch the Olympics! Go USA!!
Have a good week, thanks for checking the blogs and for all your support ~ Elayne

Good news at the Cardiologist

I saw my doctor yesterday and expected him to raise the Beta blocker ( for my heart). I didn't like the idea of raising the dosage as it makes me tired and dizzy each time it is raised.

My blood pressure is back to normal~ actually lower than normal now, so he decided not to raise it AND cut my blood pressure med. in half! I go back in October for another echo to check my heart. We are praying that all will be back to normal with my heart and I will get the ok to begin training again. Meanwhile running has been moved indoors due to our heatwave here. We are anxious to get back outside:)

I would like to ask for prayer that my BP remains good while the dosage is being lowered and for my back. I have had a lot of pain the past week or so and continue to pray for healing. We used to tell our boys when they were little~ "Do your best, God will do the rest"!

RUN 4 YOUR LIFE!

Continue to do the things you love....

WaterTots & Preschool with Nolan, Morgan & Cooper!

Cooper getting his swimming sticker.

Morgan on "Safety Day" !

My aunt Dena is great at encouraging me to "do the things you love to do". Teaching swimming is one of those things. I just wrapped up a 2 week session with 3 classes, water tots, preschool and adult.It was a lot of fun and I really enjoyed teaching the kids and parents.

Next week I take my Personal Trainer Certification exam. This also will allow me to do those things I love and work with people through fitness & health. Please keep this in prayer as it has been a long, hard road to prepare for this over the last year.

An update on 2 prayer requests~ My brother Dana had open heart surgery last week and is back home and doing well! Cracking jokes and teasing me like a big brother does :)

Our neighbor Byron was hospitalized on Friday and last I heard the doctors told his family he will not be coming home, the cancer is very advanced. Thanks to all of you that have kept these 2 families in prayer, please continue to do so.

Prayer For Byron

My neighbor Byron was diagnosed with esophageal cancer one month ago. His family just came over and asked Chris to help get him in the car to take him to the hospital. This cancer is spreading quickly and he is in a lot pain. He has had radiation and just started chemo last week.
Please pray for Byron and his family. My heart hurts watching yet another person and another family going through this.
Byron is 61 years old and a sweet, sweet man. Please lift him up in prayer.
Thanks~ Elayne

Jesus said, "Where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them," (Matthew 18:20)